You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You were trust falling into bushes
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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