ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement