I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
