My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
