I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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