1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
