oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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