New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
