what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish I only lived at night.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My life is pants optional.
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