Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She bit a glass in half.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
