I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How external is "for external use only"?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
