considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
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SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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