I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
