If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
