i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
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