You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
