Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
