he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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