I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
