So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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