hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't shave. On purpose
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
