I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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