I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
