I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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