I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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