he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she told me i tasted like america
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
