why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
