my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
