i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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