OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
