i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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