this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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