Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
