I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.