Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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