I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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