Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
