Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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