Don't you send me to vm
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
