This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
