i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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