$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
