Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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