My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize