There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
