Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
