There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
