I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
