There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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