This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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