The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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