my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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