oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want nice things and good sex
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
