If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
