It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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