Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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