Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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