He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
