I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
