Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
